Detox

How is it that the greatest gifts that we can give to ourselves is to temporarily (and hopefully temporarily) expose ourselves to a plethora of toxicity?

Yes, really. Toxic and greatest gift in the same sentence. I am referring to detox. Mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, what have you. The purging introduces so many foul toxins that you can feel so sick in every conceivable way.

I guess it is easy for me to wanna talk or think about detox. For years I have always been fascinated by additions, regardless of the addiction. It is truly fascinating how powerful addictions are, both in their capacity to destroy and in the capacity of selective humans with addictions to recover. By recovery, I mean a stable, authentic recovery. These are recoveries that make those addicts leaders and mentors. Indeed, the recovering addicts say the detox was the most painful thing that they went through but also the best thing that they did for themselves.

It is truly remarkable how easy it was to gradually acquire the habit, the toxic habits, the toxic way of thinking which can leave a person's lives torn at the seams, a fabric of life torn to shreads. It doesn't even have to be the most destructive of addictions, heroin, cocaine, meth, opiates, anorexia, bulimia, the list goes on and on.

Sometimes the most destructive addictions allow us to not realize other addictions not as intense because the drama is not as present. These addictions aren't flourescent, but they are still toxic to be the person. What of the addiction to fear, of self hatred, of not being able to trust, really any toxic emotion or feeling that brings us down as people, that prevents us from being what we can be?

I went to a seminar from Dani Johnson, a self made millionairess. Among the many things that I learned, it was that 98% of the population will be dead or dead broke by 65. 2% will flourish and prosper. Many of us stay in the 98% because we are full of fear and don't want to make that transition.

One of the things that I have discovered is that detox is what separates those two populations. The people who will transition from that 98% and be in that 2% will undergo detox. They have to look at all the pain in their lives, how it caused them to do what they did and how they treated that pain in a way that didn't allow them to grow. They hide their pain in television shows, in partying, in drinking, in one night stands, in never committing to anybody, whatever it is...it's still destructive.

Detox in this content means opening yourself to failures of your past and forgiving yourself for them. You have to accept yourself for your failures and draw courage from God inside of you to fight back. There is so much toxicity and hurt that has to come out in order to do that. You cannot accept being the person you once were, immersed in your own selfish and unhealthy escapes.

Indeed, detox is the most painful, with its explosions of toxins, and yet in the long distance ahead, with persistance, courage and in the infalliable presence of the father, the son and the holy spirit, the intercession of Mary, now at the end of our death, it can be the greatest thing we can do for ourselves.

Late night reflections

I've been busy...yes, employed! That's a great reason to have skipped out on blogging. I am going to be making another trip to KC because the Mass scrutinies for the catechumens are so important. It's worth the inconvenience, the gas money, the interruption in "days off" to go. There will only be one time that I will have this special moment, this initiation into where I truly belong, as a convert to Roman Catholicism. Laura Ingraham once said she just felt it. Yup, so do I.

There is still stuff from my car I need to take back into my apartment. I still haven't done that. I also need to gather up all my tax papers to get my taxes done tomorrow. I have always been late with that for as long as I can remember. Without exception, I have always filed my taxes the first or second week of April. I still don't know why. I expect a return and well, it was always my money. Of course, who is the government to not pay back on the interest they had on it the whole time? Of course, I digress.

It's been exciting. Scary, uprooting, at times mildly painful, but never uneventful.

I hate mornings. I hate forcing my rested body to jolt itself, mentally and physically, from the bliss of a soft bed. I will have to get up at the crack of dawn to drive back to Kansas City. I love the drive, but again, I hate the initial waking up. It sucks. The morning light looks unkindly to the opening eyes of an owl, especially without some sort of caffeine or similar stimulant.

Ah, well time to grow up and so what grown ups do--which is things we don't want to do.

Is there a surplus?

Before I begin, I would like to thank and acknowledge--first and foremost--Jesus Christ for his intervention in getting me a job. I also acknowledge the intervention of St. Jude as well.

Everyday I thank God for my job. Then I get to thinking...there is just a surplus of pharmacists. Period. How did I, of all people, get a job? Truly a gift from above.

Way too many pharmacy schools are opening up. I feel so sorry for the 60-100 new grads every year that put their blood, sweat, tears, burnouts and loans into a degree that gives them no job prospects. Sure, more female pharmacists who worked part-time are going full time and it is harder for more older pharmacists to retire. I know that the economy is playing a role in the matter.

However, with all the grads being pumped out every year (especially in some metro areas where there are like 5-6), the retirement of pharmacists in the near future when the economy gets better will not help. The surplus will remain.

I will confess however that my new job has got me totally motivated. I want to do geriatrics (great for the Catholic pharmacists who hate birth control pills), certified diabetes education, smoking cessation, cholesterol, OTC stuff...yeah, baby. Maybe the surplus motivated that in me. Whatever it is, I will stick to it.

I pray that this new job will answer my deepest prayers put forth from lots of rosary beads, Hail Marys, chaplets, novenas and intercessory prayer. And I hardly miss Kansas City...actually, I the fresh start in Wichita is more refreshing that I realize at times.

Next step...my Catholic mate. Where art thou?

What to do

So far the week has started off well. I got an extra shift of work Wednesday from 10:30 to 7. I also got off work today at 1:30, which gave me some time to just chill and get some stuff done.

Nothing sounds better than taking a nap, waking up and reading a good book. I might even enjoy cleaning up the place (maybe)!

Sorrowful Mysteries

Father, let this suffering pass from me;
yet not my will but yours be done.
May you be blessed forever.
Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on me.
With you I am nailed to the cross.
Let my pains be mingled with yours
for the saving of the world.
Holy Spirit, comforter and consoler,
heal what is ill in me,
strengthen what is weak,
sweeten what is sour or cranky.
Save me from depression and self-pity;
renew my courage;
bring me to pray with Jesus on the cross:
Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.

Amen.

I came across this lovely prayer and it got me to thinking about the sorrowful mysteries of the rosary. Of all the mysteries, I feel that the sorrowful ones can be the most therapeutic in times of pain because "With you I am nailed to the cross. Let my pains be mingled with yours for the saving of the world."

It's a wonderful kind of purging. When we are mingled with his pain, then that is where the opportunity to heal lies, "heal what is ill in me, strengthen what is weak, sweeten what is sour or cranky. Save me from depression and self-pity; renew my courage."

Advent of Confirmation

I will be baptized this year! I will officially be a member of the Catholic church. I was always meant to be a Catholic, I realize that now. I look at the little girls in their uniforms at the school adjacent to the church with such joy. As a convert Catholic (as opposed to a cradle Catholic), I find myself mentally taking in my Catholic faith with the maturity of a adult and my soul absorbing it with the acceptance that a pious little Catholic girl would, the same ones I saw as I would go to adoration.

Sometimes I am glad that found my place at this time. I don't take anything for granted. I am proud of my conversion. I carry inside of me a little parochial school girl who deeply loves Jesus and Our Lady, one who no doubt would have been the altar girl who prayed her rosary everyday. I also a carry an adult who has acquired hard earned knowledge that just may be wisdom. She too has absorbed the Catholic faith.

There is so much I need to resolve inside of me, including how my relation with God fits into all of this. I have, sadly, put my wants and desires over his will of late. I have been doing the terribly wrong thing of asking God to answer me instead of going to him and finding answers. It's a tough process doing it God's way and I struggle with it. However, I am comforted by the fact that I have a deep and profound love for the Eucharist, for the aspects of the Catholic faith that bring me closer to my creator and the healing I find the rosary.

If there is one thing that can help me heal from 2010, it will be my Catholic faith and the love I pump into it.

Laura Ingraham is one of my favorite political commentators. She, too, is a convert. I can also tell that, like me, she feels that deep love and pride in her Catholic faith same I have felt. On her website she sells the 4 way medal (which she always wears herself and the proceeds go to Little Sisters of the Poor). I can't wait to start wearing mine once I have received Confirmation.

My 4-way cross, of course, will say "I'm Catholic-please call a priest." It's like a Catholic version of a medical bracelet!

bye, bye, bye

2010: Bye!

You were horrible to me. You were filled with heartbreaking disappointment, demoralizing rejection and, overall, a shaken up world. I wish I could leave you forever, but that won't happen anytime soon. You will be carried with me until I can discover my purpose (by God and from God) in this world and am comfortable with what I do in my own skin.

I hear a lot about optimism for 2011. I'm not so sure a year following what I went through will compensate for much. I think what it will take a lot longer for me to resolve them.

Sniffles and Aches

I am actually amazed that I have only felt sick once this year. I mean, it's been a rough year for me. Usually when I am this stressed out I tend to get a lot of upper respiratory tract infections. Stress does a fantastic job of weakening the immune system (and a louse diet along with it!).

I have awful congestion and have a hoarse everytime I speak. My body aches all over, too. My throat feels sore and the last thing that I want to do is drink water, but I know that that is the best thing to do.

I got to thinking about how much worse things could be. I could be homeless, or if not that, a home with no insulation, electricity, gas, water, food and a pending eviction or foreclosure. There could be conditions far worse than just an uncomfortable cold. What about raging sickle cell anemia? Or severe GI bleeding? Cancer? Diabetes, hypertension? How many people are dealing with some or all of the above scenarios?

I felt guilty when I bought my meds and kleenex. I am certainly no better than those with worse circumstances, so why should I still have a home and reasonably decent health? I was very grateful to have a moment when I could rest in my own home and convalesce. The best part was the fact that I got some egg nog (I <3 EGG NOG!!) to wash down my meds and vitamins with!

I have a feeling that sooner than later changes in my life will be cataclysmal, and I am glad to have some rest until that time comes.

St. Jude's Novena-Day 9

DAY NINE

O holy Saint Jude,
apostle and martyr,
grant that we may so dispose our lives
that we may always be pleasing to God.
In working out our salvation in this life
we have many needs and necessities.
Today we turn to you, asking you to intercede for us
and obtain for us the favors we ask of God.
Especially do we petition for request.
May we not so much seek temporal good but rather
what will avail our souls, knowing that it will profit us nothing
if we gain the whole world yet suffer the loss of our soul.
Therefore, may we incline ourselves toward the divine will,
seeing God's good and gracious purpose in all our trials. Amen.

St. Jude, pray for us. My Jesus, mercy.

Most holy Apostle, St. Jude,
faithful servant and friend of Jesus,
the Church honors and invokes you universally,
as the patron of difficult cases, of things almost despaired of.
Pray for me, I am so helpless and alone.
Intercede with God for me
that He bring visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of.
Come to my assistance in this great need
that I may receive the consolation and
help of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations, and sufferings, particularly -

enduring the rejection from a very rough job market, being valued for the employee that I could be and be offered a job

- and that I may praise God with you and all the saints forever.
I promise, O Blessed St. Jude, to be ever mindful of this great favor granted me by God
and to always honor you as my special and powerful patron,
and to gratefully encourage devotion to you.
Amen

St. Jude's Novena-Day 8

DAY EIGHT

O holy Saint Jude,
apostle of Christ,
pray that we may ever imitate the Divine Master
and live according to His will.
May we cooperate with the grace of God and
ever remain pleasing in His sight.
Especially do we ask you to plead for us
and obtain whatsoever is necessary for our salvation.
Forget not our special petitions request.
May we always be thankful to God for the blessings we have received in the past.
Whatsoever we ask for the present or future,
we submit to the divine will,
realizing that God knows best what is good for us.
We know He will respond to our prayers and petitions in one way or another. Amen.

St. Jude, pray for us…… My Jesus, mercy.

Most holy Apostle, St. Jude,
faithful servant and friend of Jesus,
the Church honors and invokes you universally,
as the patron of difficult cases, of things almost despaired of.
Pray for me, I am so helpless and alone.
Intercede with God for me
that He bring visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of.
Come to my assistance in this great need
that I may receive the consolation and
help of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations, and sufferings, particularly -

the impossible obstacle of getting a job in a market where I am easily tossed out compared to much more marketable candidates

- and that I may praise God with you and all the saints forever.
I promise, O Blessed St. Jude, to be ever mindful of this great favor granted me by God
and to always honor you as my special and powerful patron,
and to gratefully encourage devotion to you.
Amen

Catch-22

How do you acquire the skills and experience necessary for professional growth when you have no opportunity for a job that would allow that? How can you do something different in your field when you are not properly trained?

These are the hardest challenges I have known right now. I have never tried so hard and failed so badly. I have never felt so overwhelmed and in a situation so out of my control. I now more easily imagine how much harder it is for people in my situation with families. An unemployed single mom struggling for work and paying bills all while keeping a roof over her head is far more understandable to me now.

We pharmacists were ridiculously spoiled. We could set our hours, argue for higher pay and get any job we wanted around the street corner. Employers were at our mercy. Recruiters chased after us like we were the salt of earth, cooing and begging for us to even consider the jobs they posted. We could work part time and still have all the perks. We were so dancing in the big time.

That is a mirage now. That is effectively null and void today. Even skilled pharmacists can't find work (yeah, I know). The level of saturation going on supersaturation scares me.

I still haven't lost my ambition or desire. I don't believe that I shouldn't still keep trying because there was no reason for me to be in this profession if it wasn't for God's inexhaustible grace. I just am so beside myself that there are no opportunities for people like me. The only opportunities are for the people that have completed their journey and have already acquired all the skills necessary to be cherry picked. There does not seem to be much room for a journey, a journey in which you are learning skills from a new job.

When will things ever let up I wonder? I pray for God to take me where I can be of most use, and it doesn't seem like I am being taken anywhere at the moment. Yet there has never been a time in my life when somehow, someway I managed to survive.

St. Jude's Novena-Day 7

DAY SEVEN

O holy apostle Saint Jude, in whose honor we are gathered today, may we never forget that our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ chose you to be one of twelve apostles. Because of this and of the martyrdom you suffered for the Faith, we know you are a close friend of Almighty God. Therefore we do not hesitate to petition you in our necessities, especially request. We humbly submit ourselves to the will of God, knowing full well that no sincere prayer is ever left unanswered. May we see god's good and gracious purpose working in all our trials. Amen.

St. Jude, pray for us……. My Jesus, mercy.

Most holy Apostle, St. Jude,
faithful servant and friend of Jesus,
the Church honors and invokes you universally,
as the patron of difficult cases, of things almost despaired of.
Pray for me, I am so helpless and alone.
Intercede with God for me
that He bring visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of.
Come to my assistance in this great need
that I may receive the consolation and
help of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations, and sufferings, particularly -

the near impossible task of getting a job in a market where there are no jobs and unemployment, for me as well as others, fully reigns

- and that I may praise God with you and all the saints forever.
I promise, O Blessed St. Jude, to be ever mindful of this great favor granted me by God
and to always honor you as my special and powerful patron,
and to gratefully encourage devotion to you.
Amen

St. Jude's Novena-Day 6

DAY SIX

St. Jude, apostle of Christ and helper in despairing cases, hear the prayers and petitions of those who are gathered together in your honor. In all our needs and desires may we only seek what is pleasing to God and what is best for our salvation. These, our petitions request we submit to you, asking you to obtain them for us, if they are for the good of our souls. We are resigned to God's holy will in all things, knowing that he will leave no sincere prayer unanswered in some way though it may be in a way unexpected by us. Amen.

St. Jude, pray for us….. My Jesus, mercy.

Most holy Apostle, St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus,
the Church honors and invokes you universally,
as the patron of difficult cases,
of things almost despaired of,
Pray for me, I am so helpless and alone.
Intercede with God for me that He bring visible and speedy help
where help is almost despaired of.
Come to my assistance in this great need that
I may receive the consolation and help of heaven
in all my necessities, tribulations, and sufferings,
particularly -

being selected for a job despite the odds against me; being selected because they can value me the way you value me, O my Jesus

and that I may praise God with you and all the saints forever.
I promise, O Blessed St. Jude,
to be ever mindful of this great favor
granted me by God and to always honor you as
my special and powerful patron,
and to gratefully encourage devotion to you. Amen

May the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus be adored, and loved in all the tabernacles until the end of time. Amen.
May the most Sacred Heart of Jesus be praised and glorified now and forever. Amen
St. Jude pray for us and hear our prayers. Amen.

Blessed be the Sacred Heart of Jesus
Blessed be the Immaculate Heart of Mary
Blessed be St. Jude Thaddeus, in all the world and for all Eternity.

St. Jude's Novena-Day 5

O holy St. Jude,

apostle and companion of Christ Jesus,
you have shown us by example
how to live a life of zeal and devotion
We humbly entreat you today to hear our prayers and petitions.
Especially do we ask you to obtain for us the following favor request.
Grant that in praying for present and future favors
we may not forget the innumerable ones granted in the past
but often return to give thanks.
Humbly we resign ourselves to God's holy will,
knowing that he alone knows what is best for us
especially in our present needs and necessities. Amen.

St. Jude, pray for us…… My Jesus, mercy.

Most holy Apostle, St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus,
the Church honors and invokes you universally,
as the patron of difficult cases,
of things almost despaired of,
Pray for me, I am so helpless and alone.
Intercede with God for me that He bring visible and speedy help
where help is almost despaired of.
Come to my assistance in this great need that
I may receive the consolation and help of heaven
in all my necessities, tribulations, and sufferings,
particularly -

getting a job when all hope is gone and no odds are in my favor

and that I may praise God with you and all the saints forever.
I promise, O Blessed St. Jude,
to be ever mindful of this great favor
granted me by God and to always honor you as
my special and powerful patron,
and to gratefully encourage devotion to you. Amen

May the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus be adored, and loved in all the tabernacles until the end of time. Amen.
May the most Sacred Heart of Jesus be praised and glorified now and forever. Amen
St. Jude pray for us and hear our prayers. Amen.

Blessed be the Sacred Heart of Jesus
Blessed be the Immaculate Heart of Mary
Blessed be St. Jude Thaddeus, in all the world and for all Eternity.

Bleak weather

It's a Saturday morning, mid-November in Kansas City. Some years the weather has been bleaker, some years there was still some sunshine left to reflect on the gorgeous hues of the fall leaves. This year is seems to be something in the middle, not the most bleak but not the best, either.

Even though there are fall leaves scattered all over the yard, there is no sun to reflect anything. It is gray bleak weather, with its accomplice--rain--wailing on the leaves, the pavement, on life in general. It reflects the misery I feel inside. Indeed, life is not sunshine, at least not long enough. I have lite a candle and am keeping it beside me, in an attempt to not forget the light of God. Like candles are lite in Church, I also lite this candle for a special prayer request. I suppose lighting the candle is really important to me because it assures me that I haven't completely succumbed to the darkness before me, that I still have some glimmer of faith in the tiny bit of light that flickers from a small candle.

While sadness descends on me, I am even sadder as I think of all the homeless in Kansas City. I have a home, food, drink, even heat (for now, anyway). I visualize the people on skid row, their shoes torn (if they even have shoes), hungry in ways we have never known because we usually know when we will our next meal. I see how the warm cars pass them by, dismissing those in wretched poverty as pariahs and freakshows (a feeling that I myself have felt many times). Lord, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

They may get a cot. They may not. They may be able to hide in a bathroom or they may get caught. They may be able to get food, they may not. They may be an addict, they may not be.

They may just be like the average person, trying their best just to eek out a living. They could have been that person who tried and tried and tried to find a job but had every door slammed in their face (yup, I relate). They could have been that person that didn't expect handouts from the government but simply needed them to survive. What they wanted more was a job. Nobody would give them that. However, what they don't have in any shortage is rejection, slander and judgment (yup, know that too).

As I stare into the small light of the candle next to me, the small radius of light which it emits, I think about all the homeless in this cold weather right now. Homelessness just touches the surface. What about the ones with children, with AIDs, with diabetes? The list is endless and it goes on and on....

St. Jude's Novena-Day 4

DAY FOUR

Saint blessed Jude,
you were called to be one of Christ's chosen apostles and
labored to bring men to a knowledge and love of God;
listen with compassion to those
gathered together
to honor you
and ask your intercession.
In this troubled world of ours we have
many trials, difficulties, and temptations.
Plead for us in the Heavenly court,
asking that our petitions may be answered,
especially the particular one we have in mind at this moment request.
May it please God to answer our prayers in the way that he knows best,
giving us grace to see his purpose in all things. Amen.

St. Jude, pray for us….. My Jesus, mercy.


Most holy Apostle, St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus,
the Church honors and invokes you universally,
as the patron of difficult cases,
of things almost despaired of,
Pray for me, I am so helpless and alone.
Intercede with God for me that He bring visible and speedy help
where help is almost despaired of.
Come to my assistance in this great need that
I may receive the consolation and help of heaven
in all my necessities, tribulations, and sufferings,
particularly -

getting a job in a very rough job market when all odds are stacked against me -

and that I may praise God with you and all the saints forever.
I promise, O Blessed St. Jude,
to be ever mindful of this great favor
granted me by God and to always honor you as
my special and powerful patron,
and to gratefully encourage devotion to you. Amen

May the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus be adored, and loved in all the tabernacles until the end of time. Amen.
May the most Sacred Heart of Jesus be praised and glorified now and forever. Amen
St. Jude pray for us and hear our prayers. Amen.

Blessed be the Sacred Heart of Jesus
Blessed be the Immaculate Heart of Mary
Blessed be St. Jude Thaddeus, in all the world and for all Eternity.

Oh, dear God, o my Jesus, I need you to listen, I need you to answer. I cannot rely on anything else other than you. Please answer me.

St. Jude's Novena-Day 3

DAY THREE

O holy St. Jude, apostle of Jesus Christ, you who have so faithfully and devotedly helped to spread his Gospel of Light, we who are gathered together today in your honor, ask and petition you to remember us and our needs. Especially do we pray for request. May it also please our Lord to lend an ear to your supplications in our behalf. Grant that we may ever pray with fervor and devotion, resigning ourselves humbly to the divine will, seeing God's purpose in all our trials and knowing that he will leave no sincere prayer unanswered in some way. Amen.

St. Jude, pray for us…….. My Jesus, mercy.


Most holy Apostle, St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus,
the Church honors and invokes you universally,
as the patron of difficult cases,
of things almost despaired of,
Pray for me, I am so helpless and alone.
Intercede with God for me that He bring visible and speedy help
where help is almost despaired of.
Come to my assistance in this great need that
I may receive the consolation and help of heaven
in all my necessities, tribulations, and sufferings,
particularly - getting a job in this rough, rough economy -

and that I may praise God with you and all the saints forever.
I promise, O Blessed St. Jude,
to be ever mindful of this great favor
granted me by God and to always honor you as
my special and powerful patron,
and to gratefully encourage devotion to you. Amen

May the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus be adored, and loved in all the tabernacles until the end of time. Amen.
May the most Sacred Heart of Jesus be praised and glorified now and forever. Amen
St. Jude pray for us and hear our prayers. Amen.

Blessed be the Sacred Heart of Jesus
Blessed be the Immaculate Heart of Mary
Blessed be St. Jude Thaddeus, in all the world and for all Eternity.

Oh my Jesus, I seek mercy, I need you to listen, I need you to answer. Please help me now and in the hour of my death. Please carry me and walk me through.

Held Lyrics-Natalie Grant

My English teacher from high school, Jayne Pynes, told me about this song. Far from just being a literature teacher, she gave me confidence to be able to articulate myself. She showed me that I knew how to write. Those are the kind of teachers we need more of, those are the kind that can radically improve a teen's education. Bless you, Mrs. Pynes.

Held lyrics
Songwriters: Wells, Christa;

Two months is too little, they let him go
They had no sudden healing
To think that providence
Would take a child from his mother
While she prays, is appalling

Who told us we'd be rescued
What has changed and
Why should we be saved from nightmares
We're asking why this happens to us

Who have died to live, it's unfair
This is what it means to be held
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive

This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held

This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows
The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow

This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive

This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held

If hope is born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait for one hour
Watching for our Savior

This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive

This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held

*************************************************************************************

Hmmm...what my thoughts at this point? I can't think of anything. I am still trying to comprehend what she is trying to tell me. I need to be a in better state of mind to give a critique at this point.

Learning about St. Jude

Poor guy...guilty by association...his name sounds too much like Judas Ischariot, who betrayed Our Lord and despaired because of his great sin and lack of trust in God's mercy.

Anyhow, St. Jude, known as Thaddaeus, was a brother of St. James the Less, and a relative of Our Saviour (a distant cousin). St. Jude was one of the 12 Apostles of Jesus (one of the stars that surrounds Mary's Miraculous Medal, is the way I like to visualize it).

Ancient writers tell us that he preached the Gospel in Judea, Samaria, Idumaea, Syria, Mesopotamia, and Lybia. According to Eusebius, he returned to Jerusalem in the year 62, and assisted at the election of his brother, St. Simeon, as Bishop of Jerusalem.

Jude was the one who asked Jesus at the Last Supper why He would not manifest Himself to the whole world after His resurrection. Little else is known of his life. Legend claims that he visited Beirut and Edessa; possibly martyred with St. Simon in Persia.

Jude is invoked in desperate situations because his New Testament letter stresses that the faithful should persevere in the environment of harsh, difficult circumstances, just as their forefathers had done before them. Therefore, he is the patron saint of desperate cases and his feast day is October 28 (I misssed it, darn it).

He is an author of an epistle (letter) to the Churches of the East, particularly the Jewish converts, directed against the heresies of the Simonians, Nicolaites, and Gnostics. This Apostle is said to have suffered martyrdom in Armenia, which was then subject to Persia. The final conversion of the Armenian nation to Christianity did not take place until the third century of our era.

St. Jude's Novena-Day 2

DAY TWO

O blessed apostle Jude, who has been instrumental in gathering us here together this day, grant that we may always serve Jesus Christ as he deserves to be served, giving of our best efforts in living as he wishes us to live. May we dispose our hearts and minds that god will always be inclined to listen to our prayers and petitions, especially those petitions which we entrust to your care and for which we as you to plead for us request. Grant that we may be enlightened as to what is best for us, in the present and future, not forgetting the blessings we have received in the past. Amen.

St. Jude, pray for us……. My Jesus, mercy.

Most holy Apostle, St. Jude,
faithful servant and friend of Jesus,
the Church honors and invokes you universally,
as the patron of difficult cases,
of things almost despaired of,
Pray for me, I am so helpless and alone.
Intercede with God for me
that He bring visible and speedy
help where help is almost despaired of.
Come to my assistance in this great need
that I may receive the consolation
and help of heaven
in all my necessities, tribulations, and sufferings,
particularly -finding a pharmacists job -
and that I may praise God with you and all the saints forever.
I promise, O Blessed St. Jude, to be ever mindful of this great favor granted me by God and to always honor you as my special and powerful patron,
and to gratefully encourage devotion to you. Amen

May the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus be adored, and loved in all the tabernacles until the end of time. Amen.
May the most Sacred Heart of Jesus be praised and glorified now and forever. Amen
St. Jude pray for us and hear our prayers. Amen.

Blessed be the Sacred Heart of Jesus
Blessed be the Immaculate Heart of Mary
Blessed be St. Jude Thaddeus, in all the world and for all Eternity.

3 Our Fathers, 3 Hail Marys, 3 Glory Be