Is there a surplus?

Before I begin, I would like to thank and acknowledge--first and foremost--Jesus Christ for his intervention in getting me a job. I also acknowledge the intervention of St. Jude as well.

Everyday I thank God for my job. Then I get to thinking...there is just a surplus of pharmacists. Period. How did I, of all people, get a job? Truly a gift from above.

Way too many pharmacy schools are opening up. I feel so sorry for the 60-100 new grads every year that put their blood, sweat, tears, burnouts and loans into a degree that gives them no job prospects. Sure, more female pharmacists who worked part-time are going full time and it is harder for more older pharmacists to retire. I know that the economy is playing a role in the matter.

However, with all the grads being pumped out every year (especially in some metro areas where there are like 5-6), the retirement of pharmacists in the near future when the economy gets better will not help. The surplus will remain.

I will confess however that my new job has got me totally motivated. I want to do geriatrics (great for the Catholic pharmacists who hate birth control pills), certified diabetes education, smoking cessation, cholesterol, OTC stuff...yeah, baby. Maybe the surplus motivated that in me. Whatever it is, I will stick to it.

I pray that this new job will answer my deepest prayers put forth from lots of rosary beads, Hail Marys, chaplets, novenas and intercessory prayer. And I hardly miss Kansas City...actually, I the fresh start in Wichita is more refreshing that I realize at times.

Next step...my Catholic mate. Where art thou?

What to do

So far the week has started off well. I got an extra shift of work Wednesday from 10:30 to 7. I also got off work today at 1:30, which gave me some time to just chill and get some stuff done.

Nothing sounds better than taking a nap, waking up and reading a good book. I might even enjoy cleaning up the place (maybe)!

Sorrowful Mysteries

Father, let this suffering pass from me;
yet not my will but yours be done.
May you be blessed forever.
Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on me.
With you I am nailed to the cross.
Let my pains be mingled with yours
for the saving of the world.
Holy Spirit, comforter and consoler,
heal what is ill in me,
strengthen what is weak,
sweeten what is sour or cranky.
Save me from depression and self-pity;
renew my courage;
bring me to pray with Jesus on the cross:
Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.

Amen.

I came across this lovely prayer and it got me to thinking about the sorrowful mysteries of the rosary. Of all the mysteries, I feel that the sorrowful ones can be the most therapeutic in times of pain because "With you I am nailed to the cross. Let my pains be mingled with yours for the saving of the world."

It's a wonderful kind of purging. When we are mingled with his pain, then that is where the opportunity to heal lies, "heal what is ill in me, strengthen what is weak, sweeten what is sour or cranky. Save me from depression and self-pity; renew my courage."

Advent of Confirmation

I will be baptized this year! I will officially be a member of the Catholic church. I was always meant to be a Catholic, I realize that now. I look at the little girls in their uniforms at the school adjacent to the church with such joy. As a convert Catholic (as opposed to a cradle Catholic), I find myself mentally taking in my Catholic faith with the maturity of a adult and my soul absorbing it with the acceptance that a pious little Catholic girl would, the same ones I saw as I would go to adoration.

Sometimes I am glad that found my place at this time. I don't take anything for granted. I am proud of my conversion. I carry inside of me a little parochial school girl who deeply loves Jesus and Our Lady, one who no doubt would have been the altar girl who prayed her rosary everyday. I also a carry an adult who has acquired hard earned knowledge that just may be wisdom. She too has absorbed the Catholic faith.

There is so much I need to resolve inside of me, including how my relation with God fits into all of this. I have, sadly, put my wants and desires over his will of late. I have been doing the terribly wrong thing of asking God to answer me instead of going to him and finding answers. It's a tough process doing it God's way and I struggle with it. However, I am comforted by the fact that I have a deep and profound love for the Eucharist, for the aspects of the Catholic faith that bring me closer to my creator and the healing I find the rosary.

If there is one thing that can help me heal from 2010, it will be my Catholic faith and the love I pump into it.

Laura Ingraham is one of my favorite political commentators. She, too, is a convert. I can also tell that, like me, she feels that deep love and pride in her Catholic faith same I have felt. On her website she sells the 4 way medal (which she always wears herself and the proceeds go to Little Sisters of the Poor). I can't wait to start wearing mine once I have received Confirmation.

My 4-way cross, of course, will say "I'm Catholic-please call a priest." It's like a Catholic version of a medical bracelet!

bye, bye, bye

2010: Bye!

You were horrible to me. You were filled with heartbreaking disappointment, demoralizing rejection and, overall, a shaken up world. I wish I could leave you forever, but that won't happen anytime soon. You will be carried with me until I can discover my purpose (by God and from God) in this world and am comfortable with what I do in my own skin.

I hear a lot about optimism for 2011. I'm not so sure a year following what I went through will compensate for much. I think what it will take a lot longer for me to resolve them.

Sniffles and Aches

I am actually amazed that I have only felt sick once this year. I mean, it's been a rough year for me. Usually when I am this stressed out I tend to get a lot of upper respiratory tract infections. Stress does a fantastic job of weakening the immune system (and a louse diet along with it!).

I have awful congestion and have a hoarse everytime I speak. My body aches all over, too. My throat feels sore and the last thing that I want to do is drink water, but I know that that is the best thing to do.

I got to thinking about how much worse things could be. I could be homeless, or if not that, a home with no insulation, electricity, gas, water, food and a pending eviction or foreclosure. There could be conditions far worse than just an uncomfortable cold. What about raging sickle cell anemia? Or severe GI bleeding? Cancer? Diabetes, hypertension? How many people are dealing with some or all of the above scenarios?

I felt guilty when I bought my meds and kleenex. I am certainly no better than those with worse circumstances, so why should I still have a home and reasonably decent health? I was very grateful to have a moment when I could rest in my own home and convalesce. The best part was the fact that I got some egg nog (I <3 EGG NOG!!) to wash down my meds and vitamins with!

I have a feeling that sooner than later changes in my life will be cataclysmal, and I am glad to have some rest until that time comes.

St. Jude's Novena-Day 9

DAY NINE

O holy Saint Jude,
apostle and martyr,
grant that we may so dispose our lives
that we may always be pleasing to God.
In working out our salvation in this life
we have many needs and necessities.
Today we turn to you, asking you to intercede for us
and obtain for us the favors we ask of God.
Especially do we petition for request.
May we not so much seek temporal good but rather
what will avail our souls, knowing that it will profit us nothing
if we gain the whole world yet suffer the loss of our soul.
Therefore, may we incline ourselves toward the divine will,
seeing God's good and gracious purpose in all our trials. Amen.

St. Jude, pray for us. My Jesus, mercy.

Most holy Apostle, St. Jude,
faithful servant and friend of Jesus,
the Church honors and invokes you universally,
as the patron of difficult cases, of things almost despaired of.
Pray for me, I am so helpless and alone.
Intercede with God for me
that He bring visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of.
Come to my assistance in this great need
that I may receive the consolation and
help of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations, and sufferings, particularly -

enduring the rejection from a very rough job market, being valued for the employee that I could be and be offered a job

- and that I may praise God with you and all the saints forever.
I promise, O Blessed St. Jude, to be ever mindful of this great favor granted me by God
and to always honor you as my special and powerful patron,
and to gratefully encourage devotion to you.
Amen